Brandishing a 500ml bottle of Nestlé Pure Life during a 10-minute diatribe against the product, Beck proclaims at one point: “I don’t like their [Nestlé’s] chocolate, I don’t like their water – yet I’m still drinking it.”
“I want to talk to the person responsible – Nestlé. Nestlé makes the very best. The very best, what? Water that spills over your hand?” Beck said.
“Before you’ve even opened it, they’ve filled it up to the very top. Maybe intentionally they do it this p**s you off,” he added.
Mineral enhanced water
Warming to his theme, Beck said: “This is directly from DHS [Department of Homeland Security]. ‘If I can thin out the plastic, tell them it’s a green thing, then fill it to the very tippy-top, so every time they open it, it spills all over them, and then they do nothing, they’ll be ready for the takeover’,” he said.
“It’s Nestlé Pure Life. It’s got a family on it, and they’re all like, ‘yay!’ They’re drinking it because it’s pure water. That’s fantastic, right? It’s ‘purified water enhanced with minerals for taste’.”
But explaining how Nestlé Waters produced the water - you can watch the full video here - Beck made fun of the source: “‘Public water supply Dallas, Texas’”, he read from the Pure Life bottle.
“So this is the same exact c**p I can get out of the faucet and not spill it all over myself,” he added.
“They have ‘Pure Life: enhanced with minerals’ But then they’ve covered themselves, because ‘ok this is tap water, you can get this in your bathroom sink’.
Cap poses ‘choking hazard’
Beck and his colleagues also opined that Nestlé Waters had made its cap greener, and thus smaller, but that this posed a “choking hazard” for children; the company warns of this risk on the bottle.
Beck’s sidekick, Stu Burguiere, said: “This is because they’re cheap – they’re using the green thing and tricking all the dumb people who believe the earth-hugging nonsense to give us inferior products, and save money. It’s a brilliant strategy. Think of the profit margin on that.”
“This is like that scene in The Overton Window [Beck’s novel] where the ad executives were talking about the first guy who wanted to sell bottled water and how they got it done,” Beck added.
BeverageDaily.com was told that – due to an all-day team meeting yesterday – Nestlé Waters North America was unavailable for comment, and the company did not reply to a further request today.
The Nestlé Pure Life website claims that it’s 500ml Eco-Shape bottle contains, on average, 30% less plastic versus comparable size carbonated and non-carbonated beverages.